(Tim Miles is reliving the best and worst parts of the summer of 1977 – attempting to visit 14 states in 14 days with his family and only Pringles, Hawaiian Punch, and spray cheese for provisions. He’s banned iPads and is forcing his family to enjoy car bingo, the license plate game, AM radio, and the occasional 8-track tape. In his absence, Ryan Patrick has the conn.)
In the world of bad advertising clichés, none are cliché-ier than “For All Your (blank) Needs.”
Just listen to commercial radio for one hour. Read a newspaper from front to back. Watch local TV commercials during the 6 o’clock news. I can almost guarantee you will hear/read/see the phrase “For All Your (blank) Needs” at least once. Maybe more.
“Wait. If that phrase is so bad, why do so many companies use it?”
a) It’s safe
b) It’s easy to use
c) The ad writer had nothing else to say.
Nothing particularly special about your lumberyard? No problem! Just use, “For all your homebuilding needs!”
Can’t compete with the price or selection of the other pet store? Easy fix: “For all your pet supply needs!”
My favorite was a radio commercial for a diner in Kentucky that advertised “for all your breakfast needs.”
“Yes, I want you to smother my pancakes with beluga caviar and truffles. What do you mean you can’t do it?That’s my breakfast need!”
Each of us has different needs.
Mine are different from yours.
Yours are different from his.
His are different from hers.
There will ALWAYS be needs that you simply cannot meet.
“For All Your (blank) Needs” is an empty promise. It doesn’t convey the unique essence of your business. It won’t convince consumers to buy from you.
Congratulations. You have a marketing slogan that says nothing.
Is that what your business “needs”?