In a hotel room in Austin, Texas, with your usual bah-humbug speed wireless internet. (Why does spellcheck want me to capitalize ‘internet’?)
I’m in early-stage shopping for a new office desk. I have a reasonable budget for this desk as it’s where I’ll make my family’s living for the next several years.
I come across an intriguing column at Unpluggd about multi-function tables. I see a desk that looks super cool.
Which means … CONGRATS! You’ve succeeded! You got me to take the prescribed action.
Only … it’s all flash. All. Flash.
So my iPad can’t open it. Neither can my phone – the two internet-enabled devices by my bed where I’m ‘working.’
So, I’m still excited enough to see this multi-function table the next morning, so I go to my computer-computer that will play your pretty flashness.
It takes, on this here humbuggy wireless connection, more than a minute to load.
But, wait, there’s more.
Once it’s done loading, you spend the next thirty seconds running some text-based clever-but-stupid ad for your desk.
I JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR DESK, WHAT IT DOES AND HOW MUCH IT COSTS! THAT’S IT! IS IT THAT HARD TO FATHOM?!?!
STOP WITH CLEVER. GIVE ME CLARITY FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
Oh, wait. You don’t have a price listed. Anywhere.
Perfect. Goodbye Cool-Looking Danish Desk. Sorry for shouting. Sorry for reinforcing your stereotype of loutish Americans.
If recent studies about web videos that concur with what my partners and I have been saying for years – that you’ve got about eight seconds to engage me – then you’ve lost a whole bunch of folks who didn’t follow through to the actual desk because they wanted to write a blog post about it.
But, hey, that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll win a poop-ton of design awards for your multi-function table.
Who cares if it actually sells, right?